The Simpsons Guy

The Simpsons Guy is the first episode of the thirteenth season of Family Guy and is a crossover with The Simpsons. It aired on September 28th, 2014.

Synopsis
The Griffins go to Springfield, where they encounter a stranger named Homer Simpson; Stewie trades his mind-control device for Bart's slingshot; Lisa teaches Meg how to play the saxophone; Homer and Peter argue about the best beer.

Plot
When Peter gets annoyed by an unfunny comic strip, he decides to draw his own. His art is a hit at first, but when he offends women with his strip and the Internet turns against him, he tries to clear his name on Joyce's show which backfires. Faced with an angry mob at the door, the family decides to flee for their safety until things blow over.

After driving all night, the family stops at a gas station but while they are inside, their car is stolen, leaving them stranded in Springfield. Walking through town, they admire the town. As Peter tries to find the police station, they stop in at the Kwik-E-Mart for a snack. Apu recommends the donut which they are unfamiliar with and also reveal they are out of money. Homer Simpson offers to buy their donuts for them and introduces himself, introducing them to the proper way to enjoy donuts.

At the police station, Peter tries to report the theft, but is turned away since he doesn't contribute to the police man's ball. The Simpsons put up the Griffins in their home until things improve. Bart shows Stewie and Brian his "weapons closet consisting of only his slingshot and his type of mischief, but when he prank calls Moe, the joke falls flat when Stewie tries his hand. Lisa shows Meg her room, but when trying to build up Meg's self-esteem, Peter shuts her down. Chris and Maggie bond but Brian finds himself stuck with Santa's Little Helper. The guys share their jobs stories, with Peter impressing Homer with his brewery job. Peter enlists Homer for them to find his car together. Chris and Brian take Santa's Little Helper for a walk, and Brian tries to teach him independence, but he runs off when freed, leading them on a chase through town until he gets lost in a pack of dogs intended for the menu at Krusty Burger. Bart teaches Stewie how to skateboard, but when Nelson pounds Bart after getting a bad grade while copying him, Stewie plots revenge. Planting a trap, he shoots Nelson with a knockout dart.

As Homer and Peter try to figure out to find the car, their stunts keep backfiring. Lisa tries to find something Meg is good at. But when Lisa explains using her sax to support her feelings, she allows Meg to try it and she is a success right off the bat, although Lisa down plays her talent. Nelson awakes to find he has been kidnapped by Stewie who tortures him by making him eat his shorts. The ladies go to a movie, but Lois is less then pleased with the trip. Marge notices Santa's Little Helper missing and Chris and Brian tries to fake his presence. The guys take a break but when made to go back to work on finding the car, they try to deploy a giant magnet. But when packing it up when they realize they don't have a giant power outlet, Hans Moleman runs them over having accidentally taken the wrong car when looking for his pants. The guys celebrate by going to Moe's where Peter tries to introduce Homer to Pawtucket Patriot and they find a label stuck over Duff beer as legal action is threatened.

In court, Peter is forced to defend the brewery to save Quahog. The actions cause animosity between the towns, running into the similarities across the board. With Fred Flintstone as judge, he finds for Duff although he also notes they are both imitations of his Budrock. The family prepares to leave for Quahog where Peter faces the prospect of finding a new job. Brian nearly reveals he lost Santa's Little Helper until he arrives on his own. Meg shares that she cut her name into her arm for she'll always remember Lisa who giver her her sax. Bart and Stewie do their goodbyes where Stewie points out that he took revenge on all of Bart's enemies. Bart is freaked out and bids him goodbye.

As Homer looks sadly on the Griffins leaving and looks at the headline of the court decision, he tries to explain his actions. Peter reacts angrily and they start to fight, which causes the usual chicken-fight mayhem all through Springfield, until they crash into the nuclear power plant. As Homer fights with the Emmy's they have won, they wreck the plant and they both fall into the reactor, giving them super powers to continue their fight. Crashing into Kodos and Kang's spaceship, they wreck it. As it crashes back to earth, they lose their powers. Landing in Springfield Gorge, their final blows nearly finish each other off until the spaceship crushes Homer, at least temporarily. Dragging himself up, he finds Peter laughing and noting they should keep their shows separate.

Returning home, they find things have blown over and Pawtucket Patriot Ale safe since the Simpsons won't come to Quahog to shut it down. Stewie tries to pretend he is over Bart, but does the chalkboard gag, promising not to think of Bart while crying.

Characters

 * Homer Simpson
 * Maggie Simpson
 * Marge Simpson
 * Bart Simpson
 * Lisa Simpson
 * Chris Griffin
 * Stewie Griffin
 * Meg Griffin
 * Brian Griffin
 * Lois Griffin
 * Peter Griffin
 * James Woods
 * James Woods
 * Santa's Little Helper
 * Hans Moleman
 * Bob
 * Fred Flintstone
 * Quagmire
 * Cleveland Brown

Quotes

 * Chris: Yay! A crossover always brings out the best in each show! It certainly doesn't smack of desperation. The priorities are always creative and not driven by marketing...
 * Stewie: Okay, that's enough.
 * Brian: Peter, you should see this. Your dishwasher cartoon has really outraged the online community.
 * Peter: What? Gosh, it's not like the internet to go crazy over somethin' small and stupid.
 * Lois: Peter, we've been driving all night. Pull over to that gas station. We can use the bathroom and stretch out legs.
 * Peter: You got it, babe.
 * Lois: Did you call me babe?
 * Peter: I did.
 * Lois: Oh, Peter.
 * (Peter and Lois start kissing and Meg gets disgusted)
 * Meg: Ew, Mom.
 * Peter: You'll never have this, Meg.
 * Brian: I guess we're in a town called Springfield.
 * Steiwe: Springfield, eh? What state?
 * Brian: I can't imagine we're allowed to say.
 * Homer: (offscreen) I'll pay for those donuts.
 * (A man who appears to be Homer at first, but is actually someone who has nothing to do with anything, dramatically reveals himself, stepping out from a dark corner of the room)
 * Lois: Thank you so much, sir.
 * Homer-Lookalike: For what? I didn't say anything.
 * Lois: Oh.
 * Homer: (offscreen) It was me.
 * (The real Homer Simpson reveals himself)
 * Stewie: How come this convenience store has so many shadowy parts?
 * Peter: Mmmm, yummy. Donut.
 * Homer: That's pretty good, but try it like this. Mmmm ... donut.
 * Peter: Mmmm ... donut.
 * Homer: I think you and I are gonna get along just okay.
 * Lois: Oh, thank you so much for putting us up until we find our car.
 * Marge: And thank you for not being a band of hippie murderers.
 * Homer: And now this again. You bring home two bands of hippie murderers, and suddenly that's all you're about.
 * Bart: Got kicked out of camp. I superglued my counselor's butt cheeks together.
 * Marge: That's terrible. But how did you even get access to his butt cheeks?
 * Bart: I'm not the only one who got kicked out of camp.
 * Marge: This is Bart. Honey, your hands are filthy. Go wash up for lunch.
 * Bart: Eat my shorts!
 * Stewie: Eat my shorts. I love that! Is that a popular expression? Like, "What the Deuce?"
 * Brian: Probably more popular. Probably... Probably way more popular.
 * Bart: Hey, do you wanna make a prank phone call?
 * Stewie: Ooh! Prank phone call!
 * (phone rings)
 * Moe: Hello, this is Moe's Tavern. Moe speaking.
 * Bart: Uh, yeah, I'm looking for a friend, last name Keebum, first name Lee.
 * Moe: Eh, hang on, let me check. Uh, hey, guys, do I got a Lee Keebum? C'mon look at the stools. Uh, is there a Leigh Kebum? Uh, somebody check the rear. I know I got a Lee Keebum.
 * Barney: Then you probably shouldn't be handling food.
 * (Everybody laughs)
 * Stewie: Oh, my God! That's amazing, that's the coolest thing ever! Hey, I want to try.
 * Bart: Okay.
 * Stewie: Hello, Moe? Your sister's being raped! Is that...? Is that one?
 * Meg: Look at all these trophies. There must be like 20 of them.
 * Lisa: 23, but I'm sure you have a lot of trophies of your own.
 * Meg: No, I'm not good at anything.
 * Lisa: Oh, Meg, I'm sure you're good at something. We just have to find out what it is. After all, Nelson Mandella said it's our obligation to shine.
 * Meg: You mean like my oily face and back?
 * Lisa: No, maybe don't sit on my bedspread, please. But I mean the light within you that makes you an individual. Meg, you need to know that you matter.
 * Meg: Really? No one's ever told me I mattered before.
 * Lisa: That's why you have to say it. So say it.
 * Meg: I matter.
 * Lisa: Louder!
 * Meg: I matter!
 * Peter: (Offscreen) Shut up, Meg! You don't matter!
 * Maggie: (pacifier suck)
 * (Chris sees Maggie's pacifier and yanks it out of her mouth and puts it into his own)
 * Maggie: Whaaaaaa! Squeeeeaaaal! Whaaaaaa!
 * (Maggie yanks her passy back from Chris) Chris: Whaaaaaaaaa!!!
 * (Maggie gives another passy to Chris)
 * Chris: (pacifier suck)
 * Homer: I bet you and me could find your car on our own.
 * Peter: You think so?
 * Homer: Yeah, 'cause Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin are a great team.
 * Peter: A greater team than...
 * Homer: Than...
 * Peter: Yeah, keep goin'. Than... somethin' else?
 * Homer: Something else? I don't know what this is.
 * Peter: Ugh. O-O-Okay, I'll do it. Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin are an even greater team than the air force.
 * (A fantasy of Homer and Peter in the air force begins)
 * Peter: Hold steady, I've got 'em in my sights.
 * (Peter shoots down the enemy plane)
 * Homer: Woo-hoo!
 * Peter: Yea-heh-heah!
 * (Bob Belcher from Bob's Burgers appears in the plane)
 * Bob: Yeah, we did it.
 * Homer: What's he doing here?
 * Peter: Oh, we gotta carry 'im 'cause he can't fly on his own. We let that other guy try, and look what happened.
 * (Cleveland Brown from The Cleveland Show is seen in a crashing plane)
 * Cleveland: No, no, no, no, no, nooooo!
 * Jeremy: Welcome to Krusty Burger, may I take your order?
 * Chris: Your voice sounds stupid!
 * Nelson: Hey, loser, I copied off your spelling test and got a D.
 * (Nelson punches Bart in the stomach)
 * Nelson: Ha, ha!
 * Stewie: I say, how long has that boy been treating you like that?
 * Bart: Uhh. About 24 years.
 * Homer: Alright, Peter. If we're gonna find your car, we gotta think like a car. So, let's fill up at the gas station.
 * (Homer and Peter are drinking gasoline from the gas pumps)
 * Peter: I feel sick.
 * Homer: Keep drinking. I prepaid 40 bucks!
 * Peter: Uh, Homer, maybe we're doing this wrong.
 * (They see a woman putting the gas pump into the hole of the rear of her car)
 * Peter: Oh, crap.
 * (Cutaway to a German adult video store called "Video Erötich")
 * Video Erötich Customer: Haben Sie Homer und Peter mit Chevron pump? (Rough English translation: "Have you got Homer and Peter with a Chevron pump?")
 * (Clerk points to a shelf of porn videos, with Homer and Peter, with the gas pumps called "Gassensexen")
 * Marge: Hey, where's Santa's Little Helper? Brian, you took him for a walk, right?
 * Brian: Uh, yeah, yeah. (chuckles) More-more like he took me for a walk. (chuckles) God, what a what a fun dog. He's in the kitchen right now, totally accounted for.
 * Chris: (quietly) Shut up.
 * Brian: I'll, uh I'll go check on him right now and Chris will come with me. But nobody else!
 * (Brian and Chris go into the kitchen)
 * Brian: (Offscreen) Ruff! Ruff, ruff! Ah, there he is! (Onscreen) Aw, you like that behind the ear, don't you, boy?
 * Chris: Uh... Ruff, ruff! I'm another dog in here!
 * Brian: (quietly): What the hell are you doing?
 * Chris: (quietly): He's having a doggy playdate.
 * Brian: How does that help us?
 * Chris: We're creating a broad story. Also, Matthew McConaughey is in here, too! "All right, all right, all right."
 * Brian: (Offscreen) No, no, he's-he's not really in here! He's We-we thought it was him, but it was just the oven! (Onscreen; quietly) Now you're just doing voices.
 * Chris: Jack Nicholson?!
 * Peter: Now, Homer, thanks for helping me get my car back and to show my appreciation, I got a little something for you. Here you go.
 * (Peter gives Homer a beer)
 * Peter: Pawtucket Patriot Ale. The best Quahog has to offer. Always keep an emergency six-pack in my trunk.
 * Moe: Oh, that's cool. Bringing outside beer into my bar.
 * Homer: Down the hatch!
 * (Homer drinks the beer)
 * Peter: That's pretty good, right?
 * Homer: No.
 * Peter: Huh?
 * Homer: It's not good. This beer tastes exactly like Duff. It's just a lousy rip-off.
 * Peter: Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! It's not a rip-off of Duff. It may have been inspired by Duff, but I-I like to think it goes in a different direction.
 * Homer: No, this is just the same as Duff, but, like, worse.
 * Peter: Hey, come on, now, this is my favorite beer you're talking about. Hell, I work for the company. It's my livelihood.
 * Moe: Oh, yeah? Well, your livelihood is based on fraud. Look at this.
 * (Moe rips the label off of the beer bottle, revealing it to really be Duff under there)
 * (Cleveland and Carl are next to each other in court)
 * Cleveland: You know why they got us sitting next to each other.
 * Carl: Uh, 'cause we're the two funniest guys in our towns?
 * Cleveland: Damn right.
 * Meg: Thanks for being so cool, Lisa. I cut your name in my arm so I'll always remember you.
 * Lisa: Ugh. Meg, I want you to have this.
 * (Lisa gives Meg her saxophone)
 * Meg: Your saxophone?
 * Lisa: Yes, Meg. When you played the saxophone, I could feel you soul coming out. So, I want you to take this and shine.
 * Meg: Lisa, no one has ever done anything this nice for me. You're amazing, and I will never be like you. I'm not pretty, I'm not smart, I'm not talented. I have the same shoe size as Charles Barkley. My prom date was a scarecrow I stole, and he left with someone else. The inside of my hat smells so bad I'm not allowed in most restaurants...
 * Lisa: Hey, hey! Shut up, Meg.
 * Homer (sadly): Griffin, sorry about your job... i was just sticking up for Duff. I love Duff and Duff loves me, Duff can keep a secret, love never says no. Duff is more experimental then any partner I ever had! Anyways, the point is, i'm sorry...
 * Peter (disappointed): You know, when I first met you, i thought "Hey! I love this guy! This is the funniest guy i've ever met! I'm gonna quote this guy to all my friends, i love his town, i love his family!", but now, I think I speak for all of us when I say... i am over The Simpsons.
 * Homer (gasps): What are you saying?!
 * Peter: I'm saying The Simpsons suck.
 * Homer (angry): WHY YOU...!
 * (The two starts fighting, then Homer attempts to strangle Peter. Peter slaps his face making him let go of his neck. He coughs)
 * Peter: Ow! What the hell? That really hurts!
 * Homer: No it doesn't. I do it to my son all the time.
 * Peter: You strangle your own son? That's insane! No wonder he's fat and stupid and masturbates all the time.
 * Homer: That's your son!
 * (Homer starts throwing Emmy awards at Peter)
 * Peter: Hey, that's no fair! I don't got none of them!
 * Kodos: Perfect, the earthlings are destroying themselves.
 * (Roger Smith from American Dad! appears)
 * Roger: Yeah, it's really great. Isn't it, guys? (to the audience) We went to summer camp together.
 * Homer: Say hi to Maude Flanders.
 * Peter: No, you say hi to Muriel Goldman.
 * Peter: Hey, listen, I... I'm sorry we fought. I just wanted to make you laugh and cry. You see, I'm a Family Guy.
 * Homer: I understand. I'm a The Simpsons.
 * Peter: Look, even if we don't work as best pals, I respect you.
 * Homer: You too. Let's just agree to stay a half hour away from each other.
 * Peter: With a pile of garbage between us.

Trivia

 * Harry Shearer was reportedly unavailable for this episode, so his characters have no dialogue, except for Lenny Leonard, whose two lines was proved by Dan Castellaneta.
 * The chalkboard gag stating "Spoiler alert: Unfortunately, my dad doesn't die" during the opening of The Simpsons' Season 26 premiere "Clown in the Dumps" is a reference to Homer getting crushed by Kodos and Kang's spaceship.
 * This crossover is possibly praised with positive reviews by fans of The Simpsons fans and Family Guy fans.
 * Even though this Family Guy takes place in its thirteenth season, but for The Simpsons, it takes place in its twenty-sixth season after Clown in the Dumps was released on September 28, 2014, which this episode was released on the same day as this crossover with Family Guy.
 * It is unknown where all the blood came from when Homer was lying unconscious under the spaceship after it fell on him when the fight was coming to an end. Additionally, it is never explained how he survived being squashed so gruesomely and getting back up seeming like nothing happened at all. Usually, when a character is crushed gruesomely on both The Simpsons and Family Guy, they either pass away or get fixed at the hospital.
 * Stewie uses Bart's catchphrase "Eat My Shorts!" to Nelson, forcing him to eat his shorts while torturing Bart's tormentor.
 * Seth MacFarlane and Matt Groening were seen in the very back of the courtroom in the courtroom scene.
 * This is the only The Simpsons episode to use the Family Guy intro since this is a crossover with Family Guy, and is an episode of said show.
 * Family Guy's sixteenth season premiere, "Emmy-Winning Episode", references this episode, with Lois saying she doesn't want to do another Simpsons crossover, adding that it brought nothing but more ink for the Simpsons.
 * Stewie's attempts at plotting revenge to help Bart and Bart's shock of how far he went is a reference to many critics saying that Bart's antics are terrible and meaningless, but compared to Stewie's crimes in Family Guy, they seem tame.

References to the Shows

 * The concept of Homer accusing Peter of his beer from his show, Pawtucket Patriot Ale, ripping off Duff Beer, the beer from his show, was a reference to how many people have accused Family Guy of ripping off The Simpsons.
 * During the fight scene, Peter and Homer are seen jumping over the Springfield Gorge. Peter shouts "We're gonna make it" to which Homer retorts "Trust me, we're not". This references Homer jumping the gorge in "Bart the Daredevil" and Homer and Bart's near-failed jump over the same gorge in The Simpsons Movie.
 * When Peter and Homer are done fighting and walk away, Comic Book Guy show up and say it was the worst chicken fight ever, which is a running gag in Family Guy when Peter fights Ernie the Giant Chicken.
 * During the fight scene, Homer attacks Peter by throwing Emmy Award trophies at him, which makes Peter reply "Hey, that's no fair, I don't got none of them!" a jab at Family Guy never winning Emmys.
 * At the end of the episode, Stewie says that Bart sounds like a girl, referencing that he is voiced by Nancy Cartwright, who is in fact, is female.
 * Bart tells Stewie that he has been bullied by Nelson for 24 years. This is a reference to how long Nelson has bullied throughout the series ever since his debut in Bart the General, which aired on February 4, 1990.
 * Peter states that he drank Duff Beer when he was younger, but he hasn't had it in 13 years. This a reference to how many seasons Family Guy has had so far.
 * After the fight, Peter tells Homer, "I just wanted to make you laugh and cry. I'm a Family Guy." This is a take on the lyrics from the Family Guy theme song.
 * While entering the courthouse, Peter says that he's tired because they "usually do these things for half an hour", a reference about this episode having one hour of duration (43 minutes long without the commercials), the double length of a normal Family Guy episode.
 * The The Simpsons and Family Guy court pairings.
 * Matt Groening and Seth MacFarlane - Both are the creators of the TV shows.
 * Kent Brockman and Tom Tucker and Joyce Kinney - All are news reporters.
 * Seymour Skinner and Principal Shepherd - Both are school principals of their own schools. (Skinner with Springfield Elementary School and Shepherd with James Woods Regional High School)
 * Joe Quimby and Adam West - Both are mayors of their own towns. (Joe with Springfield and Adam with Quahog)
 * Nick Riviera and Elmer Hartman - Both are doctors who are bad at their jobs.
 * The Simpsons' James Woods and Family Guy's James Woods - Both are portrayals of James Woods.
 * Waylon Smithers, Jr. and Bruce - Both are ambiguous homosexuals, (Bruce being open and Smithers being closeted).
 * Hans Moleman and Herbert the Pervert - Both are wrinkly old men.
 * Bumblebee Man and Consuela - Both are Mexican.
 * Horatio McCallister and Seamus - Both are old sea captains.
 * Carl Carlson and Cleveland Brown - Both are "The funniest guys in town". (Black guys)
 * Lenny Leonard and Glenn Quagmire - Both are friends of the main character, who usually sit at the bar with them, (Lenny with Homer at Moe's Tavern and Quagmire with Peter at The Drunken Clam)
 * Krusty the Clown and Mort Goldman - Both are "Jewish clowns".
 * Comic Book Guy and Al Harrington - Both are owners of businesses with inefficiently long titles. (Al with Al Harrington's Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tubeman Emporium and Warehouse and Comic Book Guy with The Android's Dungeon & Baseball Card Shop)
 * Mr. Burns and Stewie Griffin - Both are evil masterminds.

Cultural References

 * The song "Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Leppard plays during the car wash scene.
 * In the fantasy scene, it shows Bob Belcher from Bob's Burgers in the plane with Homer and Peter. Peter says that they have to carry him because he can't do well on his own, referencing to the fact that Family Guy is the only reason people watch Bob's Burgers.
 * Cleveland Brown from The Cleveland Show was then seen in a crashing plane, referencing to how when Family Guy let Cleveland go to make his own spin-off series, the show was cancelled after only four seasons.
 * The aliens Kang and Kodos from the Treehouse of Horror series (and various episodes outside the Treehouse of Horror series) appear along with Roger Smith, the alien from American Dad!.